Quick Starbucks and Halloween candy update!

So, we went to Starbucks for our Vanilla Bean steamer with protein powder (great way to get it in little ones who haven't quite caught onto eating meat or protein packed veggies) and Gibgerbread latte...NO PECANS!! Best part?!?! The line had 15 people in it and the barista handed me EVERY item that was listed to make a Praline Latte AND the surrounding items to double check! She didn't care that all of those people were waiting.  She smiled, was concerned, helpful and friendly! She will never truly know how relaxed she made me.  The cashier was a bit impatient, but the Barista made sure that even she knew that this was important. Phew! And Joses Halloween candy was Tree Nut free! Well, his tree nuts free! Best part?! Every piece of chocolate he went to eat, he showed me, made me read the label again, and memorized the logo for future reference...two more months to go!  Oh! I want to give a VERY SPECIAL SHOUTOUT to my "daycare friend" Cassie! She has repeatedly thrown parties for her daughter Brennan and ensured that they're all nut free! I want to take the time to remind people that food label reading for ingredients is more than an arduous task and she did it freely out of love for my baby! Not only was I able to have a fun, great relaxing time because of that, Jose got to eat to his hearts content! Mommy did too! So here's to the princess and the pirate! THANK YOU CASSIE!!

The scariest three to four months are here...

It's fall, and with fall comes all of the accompanying foods.  Before Jose I would look forward to all of them, but since Jose I am wary of them and have mainly focused on pumpkin themed foods.  Safe for us both, and it's my favorite.  This means Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte abound! For the last few weeks I've been able to easily avoid all tree nut items...until I got an email.  Starbucks is offering a Praline Caramel Coffee.  Typically I'd be willing to try a new Starbucks drink, but this time I couldn't.  I was temporarily frozen with fear.  Pralines are made with pecans.  I called to inquire about it and the corporate office didn't know, and the directed me to the individual stores to see what's in the Praline topping.  Now, it's not the Starbucks that bothers me, I suddenly realized that as he grows older his risk exposure rate drastically increases.  My brothers girlfriend graciously offered to have us at her family Thanskgiving dinner, and even took care of the nut contamination bit, and there's the Teal Pumpkin project for food allergy safe halloween, but unless I'm doing it myself, there's no guarantee of safety.  The even scarier part?  I have to learn to relinquish some of this food control, or we'd always eat only at home or just hot dogs.  Thanksgiving dinner will be safe, as her family loves Jose and wants him to be safe, and I can go through his Halloween candy, but as he grows I can't be with him 24/7 to keep allergens at bay.  What's even worse? Jose's is more manageable than other food allergy kids, where theirs is daily and not seasonal.  So the next four months I have to be super, hyper vigilant and make Jose feel/participate as normaly as non-allergy kids.  Pray for us both, and pray for my nerves...it's going to be a tense four months.

It will look like independence one day, right?

So, for those that KNOW Jose, you know that he is quite stubborn.  It's part OCD, and part he's so strong willed! Ugh!  Every day (ok, maybe like two weeks out of four months...ok, three weeks out of four months...) is a show down.  I feel like I'm in a John Wayne western.  It's high clean up time, we square up on either side of the completely disassembled train table, I tell him to please clean up, he narrows his eyes, puts his hands on his hips, and very stubbornly says, "No, I don't wanna clean up!"  UGH! WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!  It doesn't matter what it is, he only wants to do what he wants to do.  And no amount of punishment, bribery, time-outs, etc. work.  Every day is a show down, a battle of the wills, and it is exhausting!  All I can do is keep getting, "You can do it!" from his sitter, support from my BFF Tasha (yes, her name is just Tasha),  and give my Mom the satisfaction of knowing that I am getting my pay back for being the same child.  I can look 10 years down the road and see how this attribute will pay off.  He will only do what makes him happy, he won't be a follower, he will stand up for himself, and he will be a great man for it.  Right now?  Right NOW?!  It's driving me crazy!  I just need him to listen and do what is asked of him!  Wait...that doesn't happen does it?  Nope...sigh...I guess all I can do is what my mom did.   Keep on keeping on, stay the firm course, love the heck out of him, and wait for him to get his pay back.  That'll be hilarious coming from the other side.  I know, my mom laughs at me all the time. :-)

Irritating Habits of Non-Food Allergy Sufferers

As the mom of a food allergy parent, there's a lot I've become accustomed to.  Reading labels, pointing out "yucky nut" products for Jose to recognize as dangerous, informing every person he doesn't know, who will be giving him food, about his allergy.  But there are a few issues that make me want to scream (wait...I did...) and pull my hair out.  Please, pay attention...

1) Do NOT argue with me about the prescription!

     Per the national food allergy guidelines, an anaphylactic person must have TWO epi pens with them at ALL TIMES!  Why? you ask...well, each Epi has a dose that lasts 10 minutes.  I'm not an emergency services dispatcher, so I'm not aware of the local response time during that particular day of an anaphylactic attack.  They try their best to get there ASAP, but I'm not taking chances with my child's life. Also, each person my child is with, needs their own set of Epis.  I'm human, I may forget to leave his diaper bag (which I have) with the Epis.  Each person having their own set alleviates the panic that comes with forgetting.  So, instead of arguing with me about my prescription, telling me that I don't need them, there are too many, why do I need them, isn't going to work with me.  If the randomly chosen, behind the counter cashier, high school diploma holding, pretend pharm tech (because they are pretend, I have a friend who is a REAL one, trained in school!) thinks that a high school bio class makes them more qualified than my CHKD allergy SPECIALIST and my months of research and my scary experience of holding down my baby as doctors worked to save his life....well, THEY'RE WRONG!  Fill. The. Prescription.

2). I AM the nut nazi.

      When José was 10 mo old, he had an anaphylactic reaction.  It wasn't on the list of ingredients, and no one understand why.  I'm still confused about it, but what sticks clearly is pinning his body down with mine as he was slowly dying.  Begging, pleading, screaming in my head for the doctors to save my baby who has barely begun to live.  I kept it together on the outside, and didn't "lose it" until a week later I went to go check in on him, while he was sleeping. I saw him, kissed his cheek, went to my room and bawled the ugly cry.  That is not an experience I would wish on my worse enemy.  My kid is 3.  THREE.  Until he can read the complicated food labels by himself, I will continue to be the nut nazi.

3). "Ooooooooh! Invisible food allergens!"

       We all have taken some level of science in high school.  We all know what microscopic means, right?  As in, it can only be seen through a MICROSCOPE! Well, cross contamination occurs when those MICROSCOPIC allergens come into contact with food.  Until these allergens start to carry large neon signs identifying themselves, they ARE invisible.

4). Stop correcting my kid!

     When grocery shopping, I take it as an opportunity to point out what he CAN'T eat, so if he sees it, he KNOWS.  I refer to them as "yucky nuts", so he further understands they're bad.  I understand you want to point out the health benefits of nuts, but in his case it's a death guarantee.  Please listen to what I, the parent, am telling my child before you interrupt me.  You're doing more harm.

5). Do not tell me Mac & Cheese doesn't have nuts.  I know...

      I spent from the age of 16-29 working in restaurants.  I know Mac & Cheese doesn't have nuts, but those gloves you wear to prep nut carrying menu items does.  They contain invisible allergens (remember number three?).  Please change them.  Oh! While we're at it, don't tell me that you'll let the cool know and it's up to him to change his gloves of he "feels" like it, or "wants" to.  Actually, it's not,  for all major chains, it's company policy to, and if you don't my kid will die.  Plain and simple.  Do YOU want to be RESPONSIBLE for a child's DEATH over gloves?

6) Food allergies and seasonal allergies are NOT the same thing.

    For whatever reason, you say food allergy and people think the reaction is going to be itchy, watery, eyes, sneezing, coughing that can be solved with a Zyrtec or some Benadryl.  It. Is. Not.  Anaphylaxis is your body's reaction to the allergen.  And not just any reaction, but a quick systematic shutdown of your body.  You cannot breathe, but you can feel your body die.  You can think about you dying as you die.  Semi scared/nervous while reading this? Good.  Be the person this happens to.

7)  No, I don't know how this happened to my son, and no I don't feel responsible.

     There are massive amounts of research and studies that are happening as we speak at this very moment.  There are some hypothesis out there, but nothing definite.  The Stanford Alliance for Food Allergy Research (SAFAR), and several other institutions are leading the way on figuring it out...just no answers.  So, it just happens.  It's a biological mutation of some sort (great, José is going to think he's an X-Men now) and we live with it.  The only part I feel responsible for is his safety and care, just like any other parent.

I know that there are a lot of people out there that will say, "If you don't want him to get sick, don't take him out."  Well, you're stupid if you think that.  S-T-U-P-I-D.  That is not the reality of the world.  If I could keep my child in a bubble and protect him, I would.  In fact, I even bet that if I had this bubble, you'd be knocking down my door to get one for your kid.  Reality is, well...reality.  I can't and shouldn't have to.  If I have to deal with the world as a non-food allergy sufferer, then my son needs to as well.  All I'm asking for is a lot of common sense and a little bit of sensitivity.  After all, at the rate food allergies are going, you're family could be next.