As the mom of a food allergy parent, there's a lot I've become accustomed to. Reading labels, pointing out "yucky nut" products for Jose to recognize as dangerous, informing every person he doesn't know, who will be giving him food, about his allergy. But there are a few issues that make me want to scream (wait...I did...) and pull my hair out. Please, pay attention...
1) Do NOT argue with me about the prescription!
Per the national food allergy guidelines, an anaphylactic person must have TWO epi pens with them at ALL TIMES! Why? you ask...well, each Epi has a dose that lasts 10 minutes. I'm not an emergency services dispatcher, so I'm not aware of the local response time during that particular day of an anaphylactic attack. They try their best to get there ASAP, but I'm not taking chances with my child's life. Also, each person my child is with, needs their own set of Epis. I'm human, I may forget to leave his diaper bag (which I have) with the Epis. Each person having their own set alleviates the panic that comes with forgetting. So, instead of arguing with me about my prescription, telling me that I don't need them, there are too many, why do I need them, isn't going to work with me. If the randomly chosen, behind the counter cashier, high school diploma holding, pretend pharm tech (because they are pretend, I have a friend who is a REAL one, trained in school!) thinks that a high school bio class makes them more qualified than my CHKD allergy SPECIALIST and my months of research and my scary experience of holding down my baby as doctors worked to save his life....well, THEY'RE WRONG! Fill. The. Prescription.
2). I AM the nut nazi.
When José was 10 mo old, he had an anaphylactic reaction. It wasn't on the list of ingredients, and no one understand why. I'm still confused about it, but what sticks clearly is pinning his body down with mine as he was slowly dying. Begging, pleading, screaming in my head for the doctors to save my baby who has barely begun to live. I kept it together on the outside, and didn't "lose it" until a week later I went to go check in on him, while he was sleeping. I saw him, kissed his cheek, went to my room and bawled the ugly cry. That is not an experience I would wish on my worse enemy. My kid is 3. THREE. Until he can read the complicated food labels by himself, I will continue to be the nut nazi.
3). "Ooooooooh! Invisible food allergens!"
We all have taken some level of science in high school. We all know what microscopic means, right? As in, it can only be seen through a MICROSCOPE! Well, cross contamination occurs when those MICROSCOPIC allergens come into contact with food. Until these allergens start to carry large neon signs identifying themselves, they ARE invisible.
4). Stop correcting my kid!
When grocery shopping, I take it as an opportunity to point out what he CAN'T eat, so if he sees it, he KNOWS. I refer to them as "yucky nuts", so he further understands they're bad. I understand you want to point out the health benefits of nuts, but in his case it's a death guarantee. Please listen to what I, the parent, am telling my child before you interrupt me. You're doing more harm.
5). Do not tell me Mac & Cheese doesn't have nuts. I know...
I spent from the age of 16-29 working in restaurants. I know Mac & Cheese doesn't have nuts, but those gloves you wear to prep nut carrying menu items does. They contain invisible allergens (remember number three?). Please change them. Oh! While we're at it, don't tell me that you'll let the cool know and it's up to him to change his gloves of he "feels" like it, or "wants" to. Actually, it's not, for all major chains, it's company policy to, and if you don't my kid will die. Plain and simple. Do YOU want to be RESPONSIBLE for a child's DEATH over gloves?
6) Food allergies and seasonal allergies are NOT the same thing.
For whatever reason, you say food allergy and people think the reaction is going to be itchy, watery, eyes, sneezing, coughing that can be solved with a Zyrtec or some Benadryl. It. Is. Not. Anaphylaxis is your body's reaction to the allergen. And not just any reaction, but a quick systematic shutdown of your body. You cannot breathe, but you can feel your body die. You can think about you dying as you die. Semi scared/nervous while reading this? Good. Be the person this happens to.
7) No, I don't know how this happened to my son, and no I don't feel responsible.
There are massive amounts of research and studies that are happening as we speak at this very moment. There are some hypothesis out there, but nothing definite. The Stanford Alliance for Food Allergy Research (SAFAR), and several other institutions are leading the way on figuring it out...just no answers. So, it just happens. It's a biological mutation of some sort (great, José is going to think he's an X-Men now) and we live with it. The only part I feel responsible for is his safety and care, just like any other parent.
I know that there are a lot of people out there that will say, "If you don't want him to get sick, don't take him out." Well, you're stupid if you think that. S-T-U-P-I-D. That is not the reality of the world. If I could keep my child in a bubble and protect him, I would. In fact, I even bet that if I had this bubble, you'd be knocking down my door to get one for your kid. Reality is, well...reality. I can't and shouldn't have to. If I have to deal with the world as a non-food allergy sufferer, then my son needs to as well. All I'm asking for is a lot of common sense and a little bit of sensitivity. After all, at the rate food allergies are going, you're family could be next.
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